There is a Time for Everything

I have been planning in my mind over these last few weeks about what topic my next post would be about and then I came across another bloggers post. I learned a new term after reading it: "farm widow." Farm widows are the wives of husbands who farm and are left alone most of the time during planting season because their husbands are busy getting crops in the ground. The particular blogger who wrote this post doesn't like the term (and either do I), but I'll get back to that in a minute.

A few weeks ago, the start of a week was particularly stressful for my husband - things just weren't working out as they should and he was trying so hard to organize everyone so he could get the seed drill and corn planter into the fields. And then I had a ton of yard work I needed him to help me with, and the kids weren't helping matters with the fighting and getting into all sorts of trouble. This was all happening after I had a previous rotten week (potty training spiraled downward, things broke, pets died and kids got into mischief).

So the beginning of that week we were texting back and forth. I think I had a question for him about an invoice or something. He told me how his day was going (which remember, was not good), and he asked how mine was going. I felt bad things weren't going good for him and replied that we were fine at home (but obviously I was pulling my hair out). I never bothered to ask him when he was going to get fertilizing the lawn (from the bags we bought two years ago - still sitting in the same spot), or that I needed a limb moved, or ask him I needed a garden tool rack built or that Jacob had 3 accidents already that day. It just didn't, and doesn't, seem right to bother him with these insignificant things. So maybe significant to me but on the grand scheme of things (ie. hundreds of acres of seed that needs to be planted), not at all important.

Now back to "farm widow." The obvious is that it's like saying your husband has died. I can't believe that some people use this term for that reason. It can also most definitely be interpreted the wrong way and it's so disrespectful to your husband. Besides, I am the one who married a farmer and I don't do the field work, so what else is to be expected when planting season is here? But hats off to all the women out there who help in the fields, plus look after the kids and paperwork, or even do all that and have off-farm employment. I guess my point is that the farm husband is out there working hard to support his family and it's never an easy or simple job. There is great passion, sweat, blood and perseverance put forth. How could I get in the way of that?

After being married to a farmer now for almost 10 years (on June 3rd!), I know that things get done all in good time. Usually things are timed in such a way that it all works out in the end. And if not, then it can always wait for another day, or even another year like those bags of lawn fertilizer. I think I pestered him about that on more than one occasion last year and I've only mentioned it once this year. I don't think he needs a reminder about that job because 1. the bags are sitting beside the back door where he can see them and 2. if it gets done, it just means the grass will grow much quicker and I'll have to cut it more often!

Always remember to love and support your husband through planting season. 

Jacob waving to one of our hired guys.

I'm reminded by this scripture verse:

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. Ecclesiastes 3: 9-13