There is a Time for Everything

I have been planning in my mind over these last few weeks about what topic my next post would be about and then I came across another bloggers post. I learned a new term after reading it: "farm widow." Farm widows are the wives of husbands who farm and are left alone most of the time during planting season because their husbands are busy getting crops in the ground. The particular blogger who wrote this post doesn't like the term (and either do I), but I'll get back to that in a minute.

A few weeks ago, the start of a week was particularly stressful for my husband - things just weren't working out as they should and he was trying so hard to organize everyone so he could get the seed drill and corn planter into the fields. And then I had a ton of yard work I needed him to help me with, and the kids weren't helping matters with the fighting and getting into all sorts of trouble. This was all happening after I had a previous rotten week (potty training spiraled downward, things broke, pets died and kids got into mischief).

So the beginning of that week we were texting back and forth. I think I had a question for him about an invoice or something. He told me how his day was going (which remember, was not good), and he asked how mine was going. I felt bad things weren't going good for him and replied that we were fine at home (but obviously I was pulling my hair out). I never bothered to ask him when he was going to get fertilizing the lawn (from the bags we bought two years ago - still sitting in the same spot), or that I needed a limb moved, or ask him I needed a garden tool rack built or that Jacob had 3 accidents already that day. It just didn't, and doesn't, seem right to bother him with these insignificant things. So maybe significant to me but on the grand scheme of things (ie. hundreds of acres of seed that needs to be planted), not at all important.

Now back to "farm widow." The obvious is that it's like saying your husband has died. I can't believe that some people use this term for that reason. It can also most definitely be interpreted the wrong way and it's so disrespectful to your husband. Besides, I am the one who married a farmer and I don't do the field work, so what else is to be expected when planting season is here? But hats off to all the women out there who help in the fields, plus look after the kids and paperwork, or even do all that and have off-farm employment. I guess my point is that the farm husband is out there working hard to support his family and it's never an easy or simple job. There is great passion, sweat, blood and perseverance put forth. How could I get in the way of that?

After being married to a farmer now for almost 10 years (on June 3rd!), I know that things get done all in good time. Usually things are timed in such a way that it all works out in the end. And if not, then it can always wait for another day, or even another year like those bags of lawn fertilizer. I think I pestered him about that on more than one occasion last year and I've only mentioned it once this year. I don't think he needs a reminder about that job because 1. the bags are sitting beside the back door where he can see them and 2. if it gets done, it just means the grass will grow much quicker and I'll have to cut it more often!

Always remember to love and support your husband through planting season. 

Jacob waving to one of our hired guys.

I'm reminded by this scripture verse:

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. Ecclesiastes 3: 9-13

Where Have I Been?

So WHERE have I been? That's an excellent question. And I've been here, busy with mommy, wife and farmer-"ish" things.

In October I turned 30 and my husband and I took our first long distance trip together - to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan to visit my aunt and uncle and cousins (who we hardly ever see because flying within Canada is unbelievably expensive). I've been on an airplane before, but not my husband. That part was easy. Navigating the airport and getting to the terminal we were supposed to be at was not. But we made it there and back safe and sound and had a great time exploring "Toon Town." Thanks to our awesome family for trading kids around and baby sitting!

The Prairies

Figure skating lessons started up again shortly after that for Jenna. She's improved so much since starting four years ago.

Jacob and I finished up music class in November and a took a break over the winter from it. We just started a new spring semester a few weeks ago. Even after being away from class over the winter, Jacob picked things up again very quickly.

Also in November, Jacob started a new block of speech therapy. He has made such amazing leaps and bounds with his speech. Communicating with him now is 100 times better. Tantrums are to a minimum, and he's more patient when trying to explain or ask me something. Over this past March break we got him potty trained! It took a few weeks but we think he's got a good handle on it.

December and January was filled with Christmas celebrations with our families. Throughout the winter I did a lot of downhill skiing on Jacob's daycare days. We're so lucky we live close to a great resort. And illnesses were luckily kept to a minimum so I was able to ski about 8 times over the season.

Christmas Day 2015 - Dad and Jacob went for a ride

Any X-Files fan was excited in January when Season 10 was broadcast. Although only 6 episodes were aired, it was great to see my favourite characters back on TV. Over the next few months, before the kids got up and after they went to bed, I watched the entire series from season 1 to 9 on DVD. There was quite a few I had never seen and It was exciting to watch my favourite episodes again.

In February and March, the routine was fairly normal. I kept busy billing out snow removal invoices. Buses were cancelled off and on over February and March. It seemed like only on the days Jacob had to have speech therapy. And if the buses get cancelled, then so does his speech therapy. And we missed his last session 5 times over those two months because of weather. It was actually quite crazy if you think about it - buses were cancelled due to bad weather every Wednesday for about a month and a half! And then our area had a major ice storm hit the end of March. We lost power off and on for a few days, but for no longer than 5 hours at a time. That's incredible for a family that lives in a rural area. We had neighbours without power for 3-4 days, and even homes within town for much longer than that. It was very touching to hear stories of neighbours helping neighbours, and even strangers helping strangers in their times of need. We were also lucky we didn't lose many trees from the heavy ice but we heard about and saw lots of damage to homes and property. The clean-up is still ongoing.

The ice on everything made for some beautiful scenery the days following the storm

Near the beginning of March I was lucky enough to experience pneumonia. What a horrible week I had - unable to get off the couch or sleep or eat well. By the Thursday I had had enough and the doctor put me on some strong antibiotics. I got well enough in time for March break thank goodness. March break came, and the weather was off and on, but Jenna had an amazing time at a week-long outdoor adventure camp. She made friends, created things, and got muddy. We finished off the break with a trip to Ripley's Aquarium in downtown Toronto and went with Jonathan's step-sister. It really is a neat place with lots to see and learn!

....but she had fun!

Ripley's Aquarium, Toronto

And here we are now, nearing the end of April. I have been busy the last two weeks with the wonderful world of accounting. Over the last 10 years, I have been doing our book keeping all by hand and our accountant recommended we switch over to a computer program. It's been a learning curve, but I think I'm getting it now. It should make things a lot easier for everyone now.

Our seasonal hired help has come back now and they have started working ground and planting a few days ago. Seeding time will be our busy season until harvest and we're hoping the weather cooperates at both times,

So that's it, that's what's been going on here. Warmer weather is here to stay, and I can't wait to get out in the garden, planting flowers and watching things grow.

This awesome weather is here to stay!

The Five Year Age Gap

My kids are five years apart in age. They don't nap together (which would be adorable); they don't play together (ok, sometimes); and they don't colour together (yes, maybe sometimes). Usually when interactions happen between them, things go horribly wrong. For instance, at this moment they are playing in the living room and all I can see and hear is running around, yelling and toys flying. Jenna tries to help Jacob or has an idea about how to play with a toy, and the result is always yelling from someone who isn't cooperating with the other. Actually when I think of it, they get along better if they're apart from each other.

When Jacob was born, Jenna was already starting Sr. Kindergarten. Actually, about the day after I got home from the hospital with Jacob, she started school. That was a big upside at the time. It was like having one kid again (throughout the day anyway). But they never really had that chance to bond and spend time together. Jenna is away for most of the day for 9 months out of the year for school. And now that summer holidays are here, we're all having a rough time adjusting to each other's company.

Jenna was super interested in Jacob until he got mobile. Then he wanted her toys, and now he asks to play with her toys and usually just takes them. We still keep the actual "toy room" gated off because of all of those lovely Polly Pockets and Lego and My Little Pony Accessories. Jacob on occasion, still likes to taste non-edible things. Which reminds me of the time Jenna was almost 3 years old. A button had fallen off a dress and I made the mistake of leaving it laying around somewhere. Well, she swallowed it and it took 5 days to pass through. And I sewed it back on after. She wore the dress on her 3rd birthday. I still have the dress.

Jenna was mostly completely independent when Jacob was a newborn, which made looking after two kids so much easier. She would dress herself for bed while I got myself ready as well. I remember a time she dressed herself three nights in a row; I get the kids to change into clean socks and underwear before bed (less work in the morning). Jenna just put a new pair of socks over her old pair three nights in a row. I think it was winter time, so at least her feet were warm. Never a dull moment.

So because of their difference in age, they also have different agendas and different skill levels, which understandably makes play very difficult. Most of their play involves running and jumping around, rather than sitting quietly playing with toys, ie. active and exuberant kids. And they do obviously have different interests in toys; Jenna likes horses and Jacob likes tractors. Trying to meld the two interests together I've found doesn't always work.

So maybe having two kids with a big age gap isn't all that bad. Maybe I've made it out to be worse than it seems. For us, it wasn't planned that way at all - it would have been about three years difference if I hadn't had a traumatic miscarriage; and then another one after that plus there was the added mental and physical healing time after losing two pregnancies.

It can be rough at times, no matter if you have one child or four (!) or if they're 18 months apart (like me and my younger sister) or 12 years apart (like me and my younger brother). I still think though that if they were closer in age, they would be closer friends and get along better. But obviously there's no changing the way things have already turned out. Jacob will forever look up to his big sister and Jenna will always want to look out for her little brother, that I know for certain.

What I Learned Last Week

What a crazy week. I wonder sometime how it's possible to get through a week where everything went wrong; one kid was sick, everything I tried to do around the house didn't work out, there was sometimes five things going on at once........... It's a lot to grasp. Sometimes just going through the motions and taking things slow is the only way to deal. And that's extremely difficult for me.

What I learned last week:

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Being Away: I got back home from a few days away last Sunday evening. I discovered that the dog had had many accidents in our mud room where she stays. Yay, extra clean up. My husband stayed home with her while I was away except for one night when he came to stay with me and the kids. She doesn't like it when I'm away. And I guess because we weren't around the house, a skunk decided to dig holes in the lawn and in my garden; I have yet to trap it and it has been around a few nights since then.

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Forgetfulness: I went away forgetting to leave some potted flowers sitting in water and my favourite one pretty much died. And it took my whole first day back to catch up on laundry. I was only away for 3 nights!

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I can still get some great pictures of the kids, even when one was overtired and one was sick.

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Anything can Grow: I threw rotten potatoes out to the compost pile and they have sprouted. Even if I don't get a crop of potatoes, it's still pretty neat.

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I Killed Something: I'm a frog and toad person and somehow I managed to squish a toad in our back door. I was devastated. I think it was the same one that likes to sit in our mud room in the evenings and "sing."

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Hide Keys: We now must take keys out of tractors and the lawnmower. A certain little boy likes to get in things and turn the key and leave it like that and the battery dies. I discovered our lawnmower was dead and it took me quite a while to get it boosted - time that I needed to spend cutting grass because said little boy was with his dad baling hay.

That same little boy can slide down our flight of stairs in his tummy (he didn't do it on purpose) and come out unscathed. He scares me.

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Old Things Still Work: I made an amazing find at an antique market. This kerosene lantern isn't extremely old, but it still does work!

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Time Goes Quick: Wanting things to grow a certain way in my garden seemed to happen quickly, but really it has taken almost 7 years.

There's a rock under that moss! (so the fuel guy doesn't step on anything when he fills the oil tanks)

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Some Things Aren't Worth It: This climbing rose (below) is a new addition to my garden this year. It had these wonderful full blooms, but only lasted a short time. And now it's become a buffet for earwigs. I should have known a rose would be so time consuming.

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And Some Things are Worth It: I waited two years for this orchid to re-bloom after almost killing it. I have been rewarded with it in bloom for three months now.

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Bubbles = the kids play really well together

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Get Creative with Cleaning: You can give a Christmas cactus a shower to wash the dust off. Click here for a how-to.

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Water drops are incredibly serene and fun to photograph.

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Our Ag Business is Forever Changing: Spraying crops with a helicopter causes quite a stir in the community. And for some reason people don't understand it's probably not ok to be outside and watch the helicopter fly around spraying a chemical near them. Either way, it's neat to see the helicopter whip over and around trees and buildings. The kids thought it was pretty neat too.

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Jenna is occasionally interested in farm things (she's become kind of a girly-girl).

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Something I Hate: I hate having a roof done. The kids can't really play outside because there's so much sharp metal and nails laying around. I also can't cut the grass around the house until the roofers are done. They started on it on Friday and quit for the weekend, so around the house has been looking like a disaster. Day two (and hopefully the final day), started at 9 a.m. today. I expect them to be all done by the end of the day and we can get the yard back to normal. But it looks like I'm inside with the kids again all day and they're driving me crazy.

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Mosquitoes Like Me, ALOT: I ventured into our bush a little way yesterday afternoon to pin up a vine that was starting to grow up a pole I have a bird feeder on. I was only 30 seconds stapling two vines on and I was already covered, and I mean covered, in mosquito bites. I cringe just thinking about it. Ever put sunscreen on, then sweat and then get bitten by mosquitoes? Impossible to itch. What a horrible feeling. I had to shower right away and covered myself with Afterbite. The itch is mostly gone today. Lesson learned. I'm never doing that again.

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I have no idea what this box was used for or what I can use it for. It was just so interesting looking, I couldn't pass it up. I would love to know if anyone knows what it once was used for. I'm also trying to figure out what I can use it for now. It would make a good mail sorter, but I don't really sort mail - it all gets put away immediately. It could be mounted on a wall? I would love to know your thoughts.

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First Post

So what is my very first blog post going to be? Wait, am I officially a "blogger"?! Right now I'm hoping this won't control my life. Will I have time to do this?......
All that aside, I'll probably start by giving you an inside look into my life.

My husband and I cash crop 2,500-3,000 acres of soybeans, corn, canola, wheat, barley and some hay. This varies from year to year as we rent all of our land except the 100 acres we live on and own. And I'll be honest, I have no idea how to run any equipment or understand any of the technicals of farming. I look after paperwork; billing, making sure things get paid like our hired men and the GST/HST. I'm not so much of a procrastinator as I used to be, but I'd much rather be out in the garden or work on some project for the house, than be sitting doing paperwork. So sometimes the pile of papers gets quite overwhelming.

We have two very busy and active children, Jenna (almost 8) and Jacob (almost 3). Jenna loves to talk, and Jacob is still working on getting his words. And as you can imagine, its frustrating at times to try to communicate with the two. But when they are talking, playing, running and laughing, I know they are healthy, and that's all that matters to me. Last year I created this video for a contest on the importance of growing up on a farm.

Oh, and I can't forget our house cat Chino and farm dog Vixen. They've provided much needed distraction for me and make the kids so happy.

So what will this blog be about? Watch this space for recipes, ideas, photos, how-to's and a look into the daily life of a farmer's wife.

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