My kids are five years apart in age. They don't nap together (which would be adorable); they don't play together (ok, sometimes); and they don't colour together (yes, maybe sometimes). Usually when interactions happen between them, things go horribly wrong. For instance, at this moment they are playing in the living room and all I can see and hear is running around, yelling and toys flying. Jenna tries to help Jacob or has an idea about how to play with a toy, and the result is always yelling from someone who isn't cooperating with the other. Actually when I think of it, they get along better if they're apart from each other.
When Jacob was born, Jenna was already starting Sr. Kindergarten. Actually, about the day after I got home from the hospital with Jacob, she started school. That was a big upside at the time. It was like having one kid again (throughout the day anyway). But they never really had that chance to bond and spend time together. Jenna is away for most of the day for 9 months out of the year for school. And now that summer holidays are here, we're all having a rough time adjusting to each other's company.
Jenna was super interested in Jacob until he got mobile. Then he wanted her toys, and now he asks to play with her toys and usually just takes them. We still keep the actual "toy room" gated off because of all of those lovely Polly Pockets and Lego and My Little Pony Accessories. Jacob on occasion, still likes to taste non-edible things. Which reminds me of the time Jenna was almost 3 years old. A button had fallen off a dress and I made the mistake of leaving it laying around somewhere. Well, she swallowed it and it took 5 days to pass through. And I sewed it back on after. She wore the dress on her 3rd birthday. I still have the dress.
Jenna was mostly completely independent when Jacob was a newborn, which made looking after two kids so much easier. She would dress herself for bed while I got myself ready as well. I remember a time she dressed herself three nights in a row; I get the kids to change into clean socks and underwear before bed (less work in the morning). Jenna just put a new pair of socks over her old pair three nights in a row. I think it was winter time, so at least her feet were warm. Never a dull moment.
So because of their difference in age, they also have different agendas and different skill levels, which understandably makes play very difficult. Most of their play involves running and jumping around, rather than sitting quietly playing with toys, ie. active and exuberant kids. And they do obviously have different interests in toys; Jenna likes horses and Jacob likes tractors. Trying to meld the two interests together I've found doesn't always work.
So maybe having two kids with a big age gap isn't all that bad. Maybe I've made it out to be worse than it seems. For us, it wasn't planned that way at all - it would have been about three years difference if I hadn't had a traumatic miscarriage; and then another one after that plus there was the added mental and physical healing time after losing two pregnancies.
It can be rough at times, no matter if you have one child or four (!) or if they're 18 months apart (like me and my younger sister) or 12 years apart (like me and my younger brother). I still think though that if they were closer in age, they would be closer friends and get along better. But obviously there's no changing the way things have already turned out. Jacob will forever look up to his big sister and Jenna will always want to look out for her little brother, that I know for certain.
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