When Your Child Can't Communicate

About a year ago Jacob was diagnosed with a speech delay. He was a little more than 2 years old at the time, and it was no surprise to me. I could have diagnosed him myself even before that. But I kept telling myself "He'll grow out of it. He's still learning....." and brushed it off. But daily life was one big horrible mess of a struggle. The frustration I could see in his face was enough to make me cry. And after putting all my energy into trying to figure out what he wanted, I would literally put my hands up and walk away. He would slump down on the floor with his head down. And I'll admit - I did a lot of yelling. Something else I'll admit - I gave him (and still give him) what he wanted (to a certain point). Because, when your child is almost 3 and he's still hitting speech and language milestones, and after you've exhausted yourself trying to figure out what he wants but he is finally able to "tell" you, you give it to him.

So when I brought this issue of a speech delay to my doctors attention, it was no surprise I was given a referral. A referral for a referral actually. Although I waited six months to finally start speech therapy (not really long from what I heard), there was me making phone calls and getting no return back, I had to attend an orientation session before I could even get Jacob's name on the list, and I found out that within my public health unit agency, a referral isn't necessary to start speech therapy. If a parent believes their child needs therapy, they only have to call and get on the waiting list. Jacob was born tongue tied, and I was told that was a warning sign of a speech delay and its recommended that parents start the process of speech therapy at birth. Another warning sign is premature birth or birth via emergency C-section. And the need for speech therapy has increased drastically over the years.

But I wonder why? Why are children speech delayed more than they used to be? I never really read to Jacob much when he was smaller (I do now because he uses it as a bedtime stall tactic!) But is that it? Parents just don't have time to sit and read to their children and instead sit them in front of the TV? When Jenna was little, I read to her all the time. She would get her board books out and look through them, that was her thing to do. Now she's one little chatter box and reads through small chapter books. It's a huge challenge to deal with one child who talks way, way too much, and one child where it's a fight to figure out what he wants. Don't get me wrong, Jacob is making leaps and bounds with his speech, but I am dealing with the extremes of two speech and language issues - one on either end of the spectrum. And it never fails, Jacob wants something and I'm trying to figure it out when Jenna comes in and starts telling me about a new idea she just got. Sometimes I feel like I'm in the middle of a room where a bomb just went off and there's just chaos but I still have the ringing in my ears - I can see what's going on but I can't process the sounds.

So back to speech therapy - complete waste of time. We actually missed the first four classes out of six for various reasons. And I know the kid is only 2, but if I wanted to play games with him to help him talk, I would do that at home, or take him somewhere where I can do that with him - and not wait six months to do so. And this was a totally new world to me; after having a first child with no speech issues, I didn't know where to start or what to do with Jacob. So what did I find that helped us with improving Jacob's speech? Music Together. Both my kids have always loved music (as most kids do), and Music Together has been such a wonderful experience for both of us and has helped Jacob's speech improve drastically. The instructors are educated in speech and language development. Music Together believes children teach themselves through imitation and play, through being immersed in their environment, and through every interaction with adults and older children. Here's the website. I am lucky enough that we have a local person that has a class close to our home that I can go to. Children newborn up to kindergarten can attend and most classes are filled with an assortment of children in those age groups. Jacob is active and does a lot of running around, and as long as the kids aren't going to hurt themselves, there's absolutely no requirement for the children to sit and sing the songs. But I have to say that by the end of the 10 week session, Jacob had his favourite songs that he would attempt to sing and do the actions to at home. Cutest thing ever.

Moving forward, we'll continue with Music Together in the Fall and I'll try to practice that thing called patience. Jacob is almost 3 and we are still proud and praising him for the new words he says. It's still like when you hear your 10 month old babble "Da Da" or "Ma Ma." You're so excited and go to grab the baby book to write it down. I can make the baby book last to age 3. Wait, I haven't even started Jacob's baby book yet........Sigh.